Becky1982's Blog

I think this is a good one for going out with

this pregnancy is killing me!!!

Man, I am thinking this baby is the perfect child for me to stop having kids with. I mean, I am only 15 weeks and already in so much pain. Inbetween, morning sickness, (Which has passed), and now the feeling of things going under my ribs and pushing against my ribs already (organs moving into position), my pains, my braxton hicks, and the horrible back pain. I am dying!! I mean, feeling the baby move is amazing, and I love it. But I am in so much pain, it's really hard to try to enjoy my experience. And then the other day, my husband goes. Well if you have a boy, you can get your tubes tied and we wont have anymore. But if it's a girl, then I want to try one more time. I just about hit him. But I am almost positive that I am having a boy, so it's not such a big deal. LOL. But everyone else, including my husband, think I am having a girl. The Chineese Calandar (Which has not been wrong yet for me), is saying I am having a girl. But I still think it's a boy anyways. Either way, 15 weeks, only 25 more weeks to go. Then my family will be complete, and the part of being pregnant is over. Then a year later, having newborns and breastfeeding will be over. Which to me is the sad part. I loved breastfeeding, what I am most looking forward too here.

I know that I am very fortunate. I mean, I can get pregnant really easily. And have never had a problem carrying any of my kid. I have never had any issues that were too serious. And I know that I should be happy about that rather then complaining. But I mean, I have such hard pregnancies. They take alot out of me. I mean, this is number 4 for me, in the last 5/6 years (it will be a couple months from being 6 years). I have spent the last 6 years either pregnant or nursing. I mean, with Candy, I wasn't nursing for 3 months before I got pregnant. But I think my body is ready to no longer have to be not only feeding myself but another child too. I mean, I have every intentions of breastfeeding this baby for atleast a year, like I did the others. But after that. I am done. No longer any more kids. Raise them, have them go off to school. Then make myself my own career. Go back to work. Enjoy my kids and what they are giving me now. I guess, it's easier now that I have a plan for the next couple of years. How I want to go back to school and get my hairdressing. Start a studio in my own home (Child friendly with a play ground). It's an easier transition to not having any more. The other kids, I never wanted to stop having kids. I never felt like it was time. This time, I really do.